So to continue from the last post, some information about bio mom. You know I hate that saying bio mom, just because she gave birth that makes her a mom? Seriously giving birth does not make you a mom. The blood, sweat and tears that you put in day in and day out is what makes you a mom. But I digress. Bio Mom, S, is a few years younger than me. She has a son from her first marriage that the state of Minnesota took away from her and he is being raised by his dad and stepmom. From what I have been told is that she wasn't taking good care of him, such as dirty diapers, no food, he wasn't clean, etc... Of course this is coming from her family up there, so I have no way of knowing if it's really true or not, though I am inclined to believe it considering what I know of her parenting skills.
So like I said before, I started taking care of the twins when they were 15 months old. What I know of their time before that is that they spent lots of time in playpens and walkers, and pretty much no stimulation or contact with S. I think S just likes the idea of being a parent, but doesn't really want to put in the work and effort of a parent.
Pretty much S woke up one morning and decided that she no longer wanted to be married or to be a parent anymore. So she very literally packed up all of her things and walked out, leaving the twins with my husband. This is when my husband called me and I packed up my stuff and moved from Texas back to Virginia and took over everything. S has been living her life as she pleases every since then. She goes out, she parties, does drugs, drinks, and whatever else she happens to do that we don't know about.
Every so often she goes through this phase where she decides that she wants to be a mom and she bugs us about seeing the girls. Currently we are trying to be the nice people and we let her come over every other weekend and stay from Friday night until Sunday night and spend time with them. Now don't get it wrong, she has absolutely no rights to the twins. F has full physical AND legal custody of them. She's taken us to court a few times over the girls and the last time we went to court the judge said that she wasn't allowed to see them unless it was through social services. And she is not allowed to be alone with them at all. The judge did give her some conditions where she might possibly be able to get them more, and those were, a stable job, stable living environment and 1 year drug free. That last court date was 4 years ago and she still has not managed to do any of these things.
Then there's also the issue of child support. Some people think that because she's the mother, she shouldn't have to pay child support. I say it's equal rights all around. Plus it's not like she pays a lot. She only pays $150 per child per month, which is $300 a month. And to be honest in this day and age, $300 doesn't get you really far, plus she doesn't pay it. Last time I checked she owed over $8500 through child support enforcement. She's been taken to court quite a few times for not paying child support, and every single time she's warned to pay it, but so far they haven't done anything else to her about it. Which to be honest if she was a guy, she would have gone to jail by now. And it's no use to suspend her license because she doesn't have one, and she doesn't know how to drive. I guess we'll just wait and see if she'll be taken to court again anytime here soon. She literally hasn't made a payment since May and that was for $25.
I will update more as I go along, but what do you think of the situation? Would you do what I do? Would you let your husband's ex wife stay in your house every other weekend? Would you let someone like that around your children?
So like I said before, I started taking care of the twins when they were 15 months old. What I know of their time before that is that they spent lots of time in playpens and walkers, and pretty much no stimulation or contact with S. I think S just likes the idea of being a parent, but doesn't really want to put in the work and effort of a parent.
Pretty much S woke up one morning and decided that she no longer wanted to be married or to be a parent anymore. So she very literally packed up all of her things and walked out, leaving the twins with my husband. This is when my husband called me and I packed up my stuff and moved from Texas back to Virginia and took over everything. S has been living her life as she pleases every since then. She goes out, she parties, does drugs, drinks, and whatever else she happens to do that we don't know about.
Every so often she goes through this phase where she decides that she wants to be a mom and she bugs us about seeing the girls. Currently we are trying to be the nice people and we let her come over every other weekend and stay from Friday night until Sunday night and spend time with them. Now don't get it wrong, she has absolutely no rights to the twins. F has full physical AND legal custody of them. She's taken us to court a few times over the girls and the last time we went to court the judge said that she wasn't allowed to see them unless it was through social services. And she is not allowed to be alone with them at all. The judge did give her some conditions where she might possibly be able to get them more, and those were, a stable job, stable living environment and 1 year drug free. That last court date was 4 years ago and she still has not managed to do any of these things.
Then there's also the issue of child support. Some people think that because she's the mother, she shouldn't have to pay child support. I say it's equal rights all around. Plus it's not like she pays a lot. She only pays $150 per child per month, which is $300 a month. And to be honest in this day and age, $300 doesn't get you really far, plus she doesn't pay it. Last time I checked she owed over $8500 through child support enforcement. She's been taken to court quite a few times for not paying child support, and every single time she's warned to pay it, but so far they haven't done anything else to her about it. Which to be honest if she was a guy, she would have gone to jail by now. And it's no use to suspend her license because she doesn't have one, and she doesn't know how to drive. I guess we'll just wait and see if she'll be taken to court again anytime here soon. She literally hasn't made a payment since May and that was for $25.
I will update more as I go along, but what do you think of the situation? Would you do what I do? Would you let your husband's ex wife stay in your house every other weekend? Would you let someone like that around your children?
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